The Scariest Phone Call

If you have received the call, you know what I mean. If you have gotten the call that the doctor wants to talk to you about your recent mammogram, or to say they need more films or more tests, that’s when the heart skips a beat and then races for the next few days until you can get in to see the doctor and either confirm your worse fears or abolish them. I think this is the worst time to live through, and if you know someone who has been diagnosed, the anxiety doubles. Time seems to drag. The "what ifs" creep into your head and won’t go away. If I have cancer, what then? Did they find it early? Was it early enough? Will I need surgery? Will I loose my breast? What will everyone think? Will my husband still love me? How can I date without a breast? Will I live to see my children grow up? Will I need chemotherapy? Will I suffer from side effects? Will I live through this?

Depending on your circumstances, married, single, divorced, widowed, young children, grown children, no children, you may find other questios to add to this list if you are diagnosed with breast cancer or even have a scare. Getting that phone call is scary. If faced with this phone call, know that we all go through roller coaster emotions and share many of these same thoughts.

Feeling Vulnerable and Alone?

Even though you are not alone in your feelings, it doesn’t change the fact you may have breast cancer. If you do, the good news is you have been diagnosed in a time when 97% of the women diagnosed early survive their ordeal. The research and technology used in surgery and in adjunct therapies like chemotherapy and radiation have improved greatly even in the last 10 years.

What ever your "chance of survival" is for the next 5 years, remember it’s JUST A NUMBER. Do not put your faith in statistics. We met a woman who was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer, the most advanced kind. She was given 3 months to live. A second doctor confirmed her diagnosis. We didn't meet her until 27 years later. She is beautiful, alive and healthy. She is now making a difference for breast cancer patients in Indiana. Choose to be a survivor. Attitude is essential to the quality and quantity of life.

The love and support of your family and friends will also be a huge benefit in making treatment easier to handle. This is the time in your life to identify sources of strength and support. It is a time to be selfish and ask for help from others. Your support system won’t necessarily eliminate the actual emotions you are feeling, but they can be the shoulder you need to cry on, the good listener, and the help you may need with some of the physical tasks that still must get done. Here are some great ideas on how friends and family members can help you through this time.

The Time Between Diagnosis & Treatment

Many women agree that the time between diagnosis and treatment is the most difficult. Everyone handles this time differently. Taking action seems to be the best way to cope for some, researching, gathering information, writing down questions to ask your doctors. Question for your doctor

Many women may try to do the research, but because of the emotional upheaval, nothing sinks in. Reading reams of blinding columns and realizing that nothing has been retained can be frustrating. Some ladies shut down completely, paralyzed by the crisis and find themselves unable to move forward emotionally. If you find yourself in either of these situations, ask others to help gather this needed data for you. You will be more informed and able to make important decisions when the time comes. Have these friends go to appointments and take notes for you as well.

Many women find it helpful to talk to other women who have gone through a breast cancer diagnosis. Talking to a woman who has had some time to reflect would be helpful, otherwise she may be dealing with her own issues and not yours. Breast Friends Volunteer Match Program