The Scariest Phone Call
If you have received the call, you know what I mean. If you have gotten the call that the doctor wants to talk to you about your recent mammogram or they need more films or more tests, that’s when the heart skips a beat and then races for the next few days till you can get in to see the doctor and either confirm your worse fears or abolish them. I think this is the worse time to live through, and if you know someone who has been diagnosed the anxiety doubles. The time seems to drag, the what ifs creep into your head and won’t go away. If I have cancer, what then? Did they find it early? Was it early enough? Will I need surgery? Will I lose my breast? What will everyone think? Will my husband still love me? How can I date without a breast? Will I live to see my children grow up? Will I need chemotherapy? Will I suffer from side effects? Will I live through this?
Depending on your circumstances, married, single, divorced, widowed, young children, grown children, no children, you will be able to add to this list of questions you ask yourself and others if you are diagnosed with breast cancer or even have a scare. Getting that phone call is scary. If faced with this phone call we all go through these roller coaster emotions and share these thoughts when faced with a possible or definite diagnosis.
ContinuedBreast Cancer Facts & Statistics
More Breast Cancer Facts & Statistics
Please enjoy these videos, a short commercial proceeds this helpful medical info:
Communicating with your DoctorCommunicating with your doctor is very important while going through the diagnosis, surgeries and adjunct treatments that go hand in hand with many breast cancer experiences. Questions to Ask Your Doctor |
Breast Reconstruction or Breast ProsthesisThere are many decisions a woman must make when she is faced with breast cancer. Depending on the severity of the cancer, the type of surgery used to treat the cancer, lifestyle and several other factors may effect her decision about having breast reconstruction or about using a natural breast forms or breast prosthesis. ReconstructionProstheses |
Feelings After a Breast Cancer Diagnosis
When diagnosed with breast cancer, feelings of anger, denial, sadness, guilt and many other feelings are experienced. These are coping mechanisms and there is no way of knowing which feelings you will experience and in what order, but all tend to be normal.
Feelings After a Breast Cancer DiagnosisHow a Cancer Diagnosis Affects the Children
Children will have a variety of reactions to the news of their parent having cancer. Some children are worriers, some are very sensitive to the fear and anxiety of the parents, and some seem not to notice. But just like their adult counterparts, they want to know what’s going on and if they aren’t told the truth, they may imagine something even worse.
How a Cancer Diagnosis Affects the ChildrenHow to Talk with Your Kids About Cancer.
When a parent is diagnosed with cancer, they are confronted with helping their children deal with this news. There are several resources available for parents facing this task. Wendy Schlessel Harpham, MD wrote a book, When A Parent Has Cancer: A Guide to Caring for Your Children after she was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma sixteen years ago, when her three young children were 5, 3, and 1.
She emphasized several main objectives for helping parents talk with their children about cancer. She highlighted telling your child the truth. She states, “..tell the truth in order to establish and maintain a bond of trust. Honesty helps your children understand and deal with what is happening. When the facts are couched in love and hopefulness, you can guide your children toward a life-enhancing perception of reality.” She also stresses establishing open lines of communication about the illness and the “associated fallout” as she feels “the cancer experience is happening to the whole family.”
She continues to highlight that each parent should determine age appropriate information shared with each child and she includes in her book an Appendix which outlines the major stages of growth and development. Salynn Boyles in her article How to Talk to Kids About Cancer sites another study conducted by Gillian Forrest and colleagues published in the British Medical Journal, April 2006 which stated “Our results suggest that many parents would benefit from preparation to tell their children and consider the ways children at different developmental stages might react.” Your Oncologist/Clinician may be able to help guide you or provide resources for this task.
Harpham’s book includes a special book for children Becky and the Worry Cup with illustrations by Jonas Kulikauskas, with an introduction explaining how to use this book. She states, “Becky and the Worry Cup can help you deal with the children in a healthy way by offering sound information, practical advice, and genuine comfort.” Her book also includes Appendices such as Glossary for Kids; Resources for Parents and Children; and an Annoted Bibliography which lists other books for Children, and Books for Parents. Harpham’s book is summed up best by her statement, “The greatest gift you can give your children is not protection from change, loss, pain, or stress, but the confidence and tools to cope and grow with all that life has to offer them.”
Sources: When A Parent Has Cancer A Guide to Caring for Your Children by Wendy Schlessel Harpham, M.D., HarperCollins Publishers New York, 1997.
How to Talk to Kids About Cancer by Saylnn Boyles, WebMDHealth, April 13, 2006.
Other books that may be helpful to review before sharing with your child are; Our Mom Has Cancer written and illustrated by Abigail and Adrienne Ackermann, and When Eric's Mom Fought Cancer story and pictures by Judith Vigna.
Kathleen Polscer, M.S., L.P.C. Counseling Solutions, L.L.C.
The Power of Pink
It's a group you never WANT to join, in fact its members start off as victims. Victims of a grueling life, depression, pain, fear and confusion; which goes by the name of Breast of Cancer. Somewhere along the line pink comes in, it brings with it a light, a light which is knowledge, comfort and a desire to grow, you start to find pink all around you and one day you wake up and you’re a survivor. Proud to wear your pink, knowing you've had to fight a huge battle to get there. With that comes the passion, the passion to teach, the passion to help, the passion to give and the knowledge that you are not alone, you’re now part of an elite group, banded together with knowledge, experience, a sisterhood so to speak; banded together with a mission to find a cure. Knowledge is empowerment, empowerment to teach, teach others to save a life, teach victims to become survivors. The power of pink... it's you, it's your mother, its your sister, it's your daughter, it's your brother.... and it's me.
Michele, Diagnosed Oct 2006
When am I a Survivor?
Being a Survivor is State of Mind.
When I was diagnosed with breast cancer I opted to become a survivor immediately after that diagnosis. That was the way I chose to deal with the unfamiliar and crazy place I found myself after coming home from the doctor that scary day. Obviously this is a personal journey and each of us needs to decide what survival means.
When am I a Survivor
Tips for Breast Cancer Patients/Survivors
Here are several ideas for a woman who is going through the her breast cancer journey.
Tips for Breast Cancer Patient
Ways to Cope with Menopausal Hot Flashes - Without Hormones
Watch what you're wearing.
It's not just the heavy sweaters and suit jackets that can make you feel warm. Even loose, comfortable clothes can cause a problem if they are made from certain fabrics. Those to avoid include nylon, spandex, and some close-knit polyesters, all of which can hold in body heat and make it harder for you to cool down. To avoid night sweats, which are really hot flashes that occur in your sleep, skip nylon nighties or PJs, and avoid satin or all polyester sheets.
Exercise as much as you can.
While it seems that all that jumping around would actually cause you to overheat, the North American Menopause Society says women who exercise regularly during menopause may get fewer hot flashes, and the duration of the flashes they do get may be shorter.
Use cool water to cool down.
It seems so obvious we almost overlook it, but cool water or cold compresses placed on certain key areas of the body can stop a flash almost instantly, or keep the one that's already happened from coming back for a second heat wave.
The places to anoint with ice cubes, a cold cloth, or even an icy cold soda can include the inside of the wrists, the inside of the elbows, the back of the neck, or, if you're in private, the pulse points on either side of your groin. Gel-filled cloth "scarves" that you soak in icy cold water for several minutes and place around the back of your neck can also help. They don't drip, and they hold the cold for up to one hour.
Other ideas: Keep your environment cool. In one study at Columbia University in New York City, women in cool rooms had fewer hot flashes overall compared to those in warm rooms. So turn up the AC or turn on the fan when you feel a flush coming on.
What you should avoid: Hot showers, whirlpool tubs, and Jacuzzis -- all can stimulate a hot flash by raising body temperature.
Take a deep breath - and relax.
f you're plagued with frequent flashes, check your breathing patterns. As silly as this might sound, when we're excited we can hyperventilate, which simply means we take in more oxygen than we need. For many people the end result is a feeling of spreading warmth. This, in turn, may kick off a true hot flash, or keep the ones you have going longer.
According to the North American Menopause Society, paced breathing may be the most effective relaxation method studied. In three clinical trials NAMS reports that women who practiced paced breathing had 50% fewer hot flashes.
Stop and smell the roses.
No, really smell them! Studies show that while certain scents can exacerbate a hot flash, such as some chemical smells or even certain perfumes, other scents can calm your body and help keep flashes at bay.
The scents that normally bring on a sensation of relaxation include not only roses, but lavender, vanilla, and lemongrass, plus essential oils like ylang-ylang, geranium, and clary sage.
Stop smoking.
Good evidence shows that smoking can worsen hot flashes, particularly in thin women. For example, studies published in the Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology in 2003 found that smoking triggers hormonal and other changes that result in earlier, more intense, and more frequent hot flashes. Cutting down the number of cigarettes you smoke each day may help reduce your number of hot flashes or their intensity. Quitting altogether is better still.
Talk to your Naturopathic Physician.
Vitamins, Herbs and Other Nutrients may help many women deal with early menopause or premature ovarian failure and symptoms like hot flashes, night sweats and mood swings.
Black Cohosh is one of the more thoroughly researched herbs, an herb that’s very popular to help cut down on hot flashes and other menopausal symptoms. It may also help with cramps, heavy periods and other menstrual irregularities. Studies conducted using black cohosh has shown that it appears to be quite effective, especially for hot flashes.
Evening Primrose Oil: evening primrose oil has been used by many women to help fight PMS symptoms and hot flashes.
Soy Protein: While soy has been shown to have positive effect on hormone balancing, it comes in many forms so discuss options with your physician to help with symptoms.
Flaxseed can help minimize symptoms like hot flashes as well. Studies have shown that it also may help fight breast cancer and other cancers. It can help prevent heavy bleeding, a common symptom when you’re first beginning to enter premature menopause and going through erratic periods. And, because it’s high in omega-3 acids, to may help ease symptoms like breast tenderness, cramping, and other PMS-like discomfort.
Breast Cancer and Toxins: Awareness and Action
Is there a link between toxins in the environment and breast cancer? The information is still emerging on the exact links between toxins and the development of breast cancer. One thing that makes this research difficult is that none of us is exposed to just one toxic chemical. The few studies that exist look at the effects of one substance on the human body. However, we are exposed to many different chemicals. Out of a shocking 100,000 chemicals in our world including pesticides, plastics and solvents, only 10% have been studied for human safety. Almost no studies have been done to ask how exposure to multiple chemicals might impact health.
Just a few of the substances to be aware of are pesticides in our fruits and vegetables, plastics in the form of food wraps and plastic containers, cosmetics which contain softeners called pthalates, and ingredients in shampoos and body lotions called methylparabens. When these poisons gain entry to the body through the mouth, nose, or skin, they unfortunately do not leave the body very easily. Many of these are “fat soluble”, meaning they are easily stored away in fat tissue and accumulate in our body over time. This is called toxic load or body burden.
Toxic Environment and Healthy Things You Can DoBridging the Gap
MALE BREAST CANCER AWARENESS GROUP
Lowell Gere, founder and president of Bridging the Gap states the importance of support for men diagnosed with this traditionally women's disease. According to the American Cancer Society, approximately 1% of breast cancers diagnosed will be among the male population. Often times, men wait to be diagnosed until it is too late and the disease has spread. Men often times feel embarrassment being diagnosed with a traditionally "feminine" disease and are hesitant to openly discuss it. Bridging the Gap provides a way for men to voice their concerns and receive much needed support.
Male Breast CancerWords of Inspiration
7 years later, she's checking a few more things off of her list
About Becky Olson, President, Breast FriendsBy Margie Boule (The Oregonian): 503-221-8450; marboule@aol.com
It had been a big decision to go back. I thought about quitting for about five seconds. And then I thought, no. I can't drop out, because getting my degree is really important to me. BECKY OLSON ON CONTINUING HER COLLEGE EDUCATIONBecky's Story
I Love You, Mom
a poem by Beth Olson, Age 15 (1996)
I thank God today that you are here.
So many have lost their lives to
the tiny terrors that take torch
to their healthy bodies
Though it may be selfish,
while I thank God, I pray to Him:
"Please, don't take her away from me."
And is it selfish,
that while you have been weak,
I have held on?
Well, I will be strong,
it's your turn to hold on,
And one more thing:
I love you Mom.
Hope
Hope is in the Doctors who made the discoveryHope is in the family who just found out
Hope is in the hands of the surgeon who performed the operation
Hope is in the Father who stays by her bedside
Hope is the Church who supports and prays for the family
Hope is in the friends who provide dinner and comfort
Hope is in the Chemotherapist who treats the mother
Hope is in the donations to help fund research
Hope is in the daughters who walk for their mothers
Hope is in the survivors who walk for themselves
Hope is a Pink Ribbon
Cody (Age 14)
"Hope"
** "Hope" ** |
IF I KNEW
** "If I Knew" ** |
Never Give Up
Dear Sharon:
On June 16th, I reached a milestone—a decade of breast cancer survivorship. I can hardly believe 10 years have passed since I was diagnosed with an aggressive form of breast cancer at the age of 30. I will never forget the day, the hour, the minute of diagnosis. Nor will I forget the look on my doctor's face as she stood at the foot of my bed in the hospital recovery room. The look said all I needed to know, but more than I wanted to hear. The mastectomy and chemotherapy treatments that followed were rigorous. I lost a breast, my hair and too much weight. A close friend who was with me recently to celebrate the 10-year anniversary recalled that during the course of my treatment there were days when I was so weak it took me an eternity to walk across the room. There were other days when I was so sick from the chemotherapy that I had to crawl to the bathroom; and she wondered whether I would survivor the treatment, much less the disease itself. Her observation was a telling reminder that this disease, while uniquely the patient's, is not the patient's alone.
On those dark days, we could not have foreseen that 10 years later – to the week of my diagnosis – I would begin a journey of a different kind. A journey in which I would trek more than 60 miles over three days in scorching heat and suffocating humidity, keeping step with my doggedly determined teammates. We were walking the 2005 Breast Cancer 3-Day in Dallas, an event that benefits the Komen Foundation. With a heat index that reached 107 degrees, next to chemotherapy this was the most physically demanding and challenging experience of my life. But, also the most rewarding. Pain was prevalent, both physical and emotional, and tears flowed; but laughter was abundant. Random conversations that helped us pass the time were often borne out of desperation - desperate to take one more step, to make it to the next pit stop, to reach the finish line, to finish strong.
As the miles passed, I was struck by the many ways in which the Breast Cancer 3-Day paralleled my breast cancer journey. I was in awe of the support from my Komen colleagues and friends – those who walked alongside me, those who worked tirelessly as volunteers at pit stops, and those who cheered along the way. Each one was as committed to ensuring that we reached the finish line as we were committed to finishing. They helped me see the meaning of "team" in a new light and reaffirmed what I already knew - hope abides in servants’ hearts.
I marveled at the courage and determination of the other walkers, including that of my teammates, and I was reminded of the women with whom I've "walked" over the past 10 years - other breast cancer patients whose courage defied human understanding and whose hope trumped breast cancer every time. Some of them survived breast cancer and others didn’t. But they all finished strong.
As I think of those dear friends, I realize I've stood by the bedsides of some of the finest women I will ever know. I've held their hands. I've cried their tears. I've laughed at proud memories. I've lost too many friends and delivered too many eulogies. I've seen unimaginable suffering. Yet, I've also seen the true joy of the spirit that abounds when the body fails us. These unforgettable women taught me more about life and living and, yes, dying, than I could have ever hoped to learn in a lifetime. And, as I saw on the Breast Cancer 3-Day, their spirit lives on! On the third and final morning of our 60 mile adventure, my teammates and I had our own serious physical struggles, from bouts of nausea and persistent dehydration to feet that screamed for relief from blisters. Giving up mentally was never an option, but I secretly wondered whether our bodies would hold up.
If the thought of giving up ever crossed the minds of my teammates, they never voiced it. As we headed out of camp early to begin the final leg, a song began playing over the loudspeakers - a new version of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow," of which I'm particularly fond. The song never held much meaning for me until it was played at the memorial services of two close friends - young women I met while plotting the hardest course of our lives - and it has since become interwoven in my heart. They loved this song. As the music played, my tired resolve strengthened, the grimace on my face turned to a smile, and the pain subsided. And while one might conclude that I was merely suffering from dehydration-related delirium, I could have sworn I heard the voices of all those who have gone before me and of my strong network of co-survivors who hold my hand daily say, through the music of the loudspeakers, "Finish strong!" My friends, if we are to finish strong, we must redouble our efforts in this fight against breast cancer. I am just one woman, one story. There are millions more just like me who need help - support, resources, the hope of promising research.
What can you do? One simple way you can personally make a difference is to spread the word. Help us let Congress and other decision makers know that the fight against breast cancer should be a national priority.
Ten years of life I once thought I might not have. Sixty miles of physical endurance I once thought I could not endure. Three days that reinvigorated my commitment to this fight. Won't you join me? Get involved in the cause.Thank you for your help,
Diane Balma
Director of Public PolicyThe Susan G. Komen Breat Cancer Foundation
Breast Cancer Support Questionnaire
We would love your help after you have gone through your breast cancer experience. Please go to our questionnaire and copy the questions in an email and send us your response.
Breast Cancer Support Questionnaire
If you would like to share your story please
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