Feelings After a Breast Cancer Diagnosis

When diagnosed with breast cancer, feelings of anger, denial, sadness, guilt and many other feelings are experienced. These are coping mechanisms and there is no way of knowing which feelings you will experience and in what order, but all tend to be normal. These feelings can change from day to day, hour to hour, or even minute to minute. Allow yourself to feel these feelings and share them with those that love you, they have there own fears and emotions. Experiences and reactions are unique. While it’s natural to compare yourself to other breast cancer patients; remember, everyone is different. What is comforting to one person may not be comforting to another. Journaling is one way people find to express their emotions. Speaking to a professional is appropriate if these feeling are prolonged or exaggerated.

Some of the feelings you may experience include:

Denial

When you were first diagnosed, you may have had trouble believing or accepting the fact that you have cancer. Denial is our way of giving you time to adjust to your diagnosis and give you time to feel hopeful about the future. Sometimes, if denial lasts too long, it can keep you from getting the treatment you need. Most people work through denial and accept the fact that they have cancer.

Some survivors employ a survival mechanism, a kind of cognitive-emotional prioritizing that result in a temporary compartmentalization of emotions. Some believe it is a healthy, adaptive emotion so as to allow the individual to make important decisions regarding the crisis at hand. For instance, if the breast cancer diagnosis is limited to the cancer in the breast, or no lymph node involvement, some might choose not to deal with or consider the possibility of death. A woman would then deal with only the information at hand and not to play “what if” game that makes us crazy.

Anger

Once you accept that you have cancer, you may feel angry and scared. You might feel angry at yourself, “What did I do to cause this”? You might be angry at friends or loved ones, the “Why Me?” Why did I get this disease and someone else didn’t? Then you might feel guilty for having those thoughts. You might even be angry with God. Again talking about these feeling will help us get through them more quickly.

Fear and Worry

Breast cancer can be very scary, it’s cancer and cancer can kill. It’s in my breast; I may have to loose all or part of my breast. I may have to go through treatments that make me sick and loose my hair. If you have known anyone who’s been diagnosed with cancer, died from cancer, even talked about someone with cancer, you’ve heard the horror stories.

You may be afraid of losing your job, what will people think, worried about the bills, about taking care of your family and of dying. These and other are valid concerns and can be overwhelming. Floods of this kind of thoughts and fears may envelope you and you’re your family. Your friends and family may also be worrying about how to best support you in this journey, what to say or not to say.

Most people feel better when they know what to expect, after they have talked to their doctors and have been able to ask questions. Questions to Ask Your Doctor Many find it helpful to talk to breast cancer survivors, other women who have gone through the journey and have successfully come out the other side. Support Groups

Lack of Control

You may feel as if your life is out of control. It is in many ways, but you have more control than you think. You do have control over your outlook on survival. When am I a Survivor You have the choice of who your medical team includes and you have a voice in your treatment. You have control over educating yourself on your kind of breast cancer, the options for treatment, new surgical techniques, studies for new medications. Many people with cancer feel better when they stay busy. Some women choose to continue working and participating in normal daily activities, just don’t over do it as the treatments for breast cancer can cause fatigue another side effects. Your main job is to take care of yourself. This is the time when it’s ok to be a bit selfish, allow people to do things for you, in fact ask for help.

Loneliness

You may find yourself feeling lonely or distant from others. Some of your friends or relatives may not know what to say or what to do and avoid you rather than make a mistake. You may not feel comfortable asking for help or companionship and thus feeling like the world is going on with out you. These and other situations can cause loneliness.

You may feel too sick to take part in the hobbies and activities you used to enjoy. And sometimes, even when you are with people you love and care about, you may feel that no one understands what you are going through. It may help to join a support group or talk to other ladies about your feelings. Even though it’s hard to do, tell people what you need from them and what they can do to help. You are actually doing them a favor, as most people want to help but just don’t know how or what you need. Help them help you.

Sadness and Depression

Many people with cancer feel sad or depressed. This is a normal response to any serious illness. When you're depressed, you may have very little energy; you may feel tired and not want to eat. Others eat more when depressed. If feelings of sadness and despair seem to take over your life, you may have clinical depression. Let your health provider know if you have these signs almost every day.

Depression can be treated. Your doctor may prescribe medication. He or she may also suggest that you talk about your feelings with a counselor or join a support group with others who have breast cancer.

Guilt

Many people with cancer feel guilty. You may blame yourself for upsetting the people you love or worry about being a burden to others, either emotionally or financially. Or you may envy other people's good health and be ashamed of this feeling. You might even blame yourself for lifestyle choices that could have contributed to your cancer. These feelings are all normal for people diagnosed with breast cancer. Counseling and support groups can help with these feelings of guilt.

Hope

There are many reasons to feel hopeful. There are millions of cancer survivors and with technology and money being spent on research, one day soon there will be a cure. Breast cancer is no longer a death sentence, many live long and productive lives with advanced stages of breast cancer so it’d become more of a chronic disease. Even during treatment, women can live active lives as side effects are being reduced with less toxic drugs. Many find after a breast cancer diagnosis they live more fulfilling lives as they have had the opportunity to reassess their lives and decide what’s really important to them.

In Conclusion

The feelings you are having are perfectly normal after a breast cancer diagnosis. If you and your family are having trouble talking about some of these feelings, think about getting some help. A counselor can help your family talk about how this diagnosis will effect the future and how best to deal with it now.

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