A Practical Guide to Breast Cancer Support
We are very excited to offer you our video "A Practical Guide to Breast Cancer Support" that explains in detail what it means to both support and be supported.
Great Ideas For Friends and Family Members to Help Her Though Her Breast Cancer Journey
Ideas for having fun & improving the quality of her life!
If you have a friend or loved one that has been diagnosed with breast cancer, you can help her avoid the feeling of loneliness and isolation - which often leads to despair - by keeping her in involved in your life. Please don't let her go through treatment alone.
There are many things you can do to help. Here are just a few ideas:
Mommy Doesn’t Feel Very Well!
When your mommy is told she has cancer, this can create lots of different emotions; in you and in the rest of the family, some may be a little confusing to you. You might see people crying or whispering and that might be a bit scary for you. You may need to help more with chores but try not to look at it as punishment, you are just helping out so your momma can rest and get better. You might even get mad at her for not spending as much time with you. It’s normal to want thing to be the same, but right now momma must spend a lot of her energy to get better.
Kids KornerWhen the Woman you Love is Diagnosed with Breast Cancer
What do you do? What do you say? How do you act?
You've just been told that someone you love, or someone close to you, has been diagnosed with breast cancer. Your first thoughts usually revolve around what is going to happen next. Will they require surgery, will they have to undergo treatments of chemotherapy or radiation, will they have to give up their jobs, school or lifestyle in general, and ultimately, are they going to survive this disease?
Breast cancer affects everyone differently, but most women do not want to suffer through this alone. Emotions are all over the map, your and hers. Those emotions can be hard to read. But remember it’s many times the simple things in life that really matter most to people. A hug, a card of encouragement, a back rub or a meal brought to the house are all small things that mean so much when dealing with a difficult situation.
Even though all situations are different, we have complied some helpful suggestions to make this time a bit easier for you and the woman you love.
Mens CornerA Special List for the Husbands and Partners
"Your Honey Do List"
To help support your wife or partner & improving the quality of her life and your relationship!
- Give her Hugs and Kisses
- Listen to her without judgment. Don’t try to fix this, it can’t be fixed.
- Help out around the house. Do the dishes, straighten up, throw in a load of laundry. Ask how she wants it done so she feels like she has some control.
- Bring her flowers, a single rose, bunch of daffodils or tulips or a colorful bouquet, nothing says it better than flowers.
- Bring home her favorite takeout, light some candles and enjoy each other.
- Treat her to a massage either by you or a licensed massage therapist.
- Give her Hugs and Kisses
- Allow and encourage others to help you and your partner.
- Steal away in the middle of the day for a matinee and/or lunch date.
- Explain how scary this for both of you, but how you will be there for her every step of the way.
- Call her and tell her something funny and remind her you love her.
- Run some errands for her (grocery shopping, post office, bank deposits)
- Give her Hugs and Kisses
- Give her a foot rub and offer to paint her toenails.
- Wash her car, vacuum and clean it out for her.
- Write her a love note, tell her some future plans you want to share together.
- Take her to hit a bucket of golf balls, go for a drive in the country.
- Arrange for a babysitter so she can rest or do something fun with a friend.
- Give her Hugs and Kisses
- Touch her often and more than in a sexual way, she wants to know you still find her attractive and want to be with her.
- Rub her bald head with Aloe Vera lotion or gel.
- And Finally–Keep telling her you love her and you aren’t going anywhere. She might test that love at times but make sure you communicate with words and deeds.
Another great resource for you men is:
Men Against Breast CancerFeelings After a Breast Cancer Diagnosis
When diagnosed with breast cancer, feelings of anger, denial, sadness, guilt and many other feelings are experienced. These are coping mechanisms and there is no way of knowing which feelings you will experience and in what order, but all tend to be normal.
Feelings After a Breast Cancer DiagnosisHow a Cancer Diagnosis Effects the Children
Children will have a variety of reactions to the news of their parent having cancer. Some children are worriers, some are very sensitive to the fear and anxiety of the parents, and some seem not to notice. But just like their adult counterparts, they want to know what’s going on and if they aren’t told the truth, they may imagine something even worse.
How a Cancer Diagnosis Effects the ChildrenInterview with Miss Oregon,
Lucy Fleck
One in seven women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetime; nine years ago, my mother was one of them. Fortunately, my mother’s breast cancer was found in its earliest stages and she is a survivor today. Through my involvement with the Susan G. Komen Foundation, the American Cancer Society, and Breast Friends I have learned that not all women and men have the same knowledge my mother had about the three methods of early detection. Therefore, I am using my platform, “Breast Cancer Awareness and Prevention Through Early Detection,” to inform others of the benefits of early detection so that they can best protect themselves from breast cancer.
Miss Oregon Interview Continued
My Betty
Kitty Poore - Grateful Breast Friend
When asked to tell my "Betty" story at the last Breast Friends annual planning retreat, I was not sure I was ready to share the things from my heart that were still painful a short one year since she has been gone.......
How can I describe my Betty to you so that you could understand the love I received from her that I was so affected by? I guess the first thing I'd say would be no matter when I saw her she lit up the room with the most glowing smile. I could never even begin to describe it to you. The smile was personalized to everyone she gave it to, that glow effected you to your bones. The hugs you got along with that smile warmed the cockles of you heart and soul.
My BettyTips from a Metastatic Breast Cancer Patient
Here is an article written by a woman going through Metastatic Breast Cancer. She is addressing her friends and family and telling them how she wants to be treated during this tough time. She acknowledges the fact that this is only her opinion but we thought you'd find it helpful.
Tips from a Metastatic Breast Cancer PatientIf you have ideas that should be added to this list, please email us at
Books to Check Out
A Caregiver’s Challenge: Living Loving Letting Go. Schacht, Maryann. Santa Rosa, CA: Feterson Press, 2005. ISBN: 0976414007
The author of this book is a cancer survivor herself. She delves into the realm of coping with cancer from a caregiver’s perspective. Topics are highlighted with important ideas and concepts to consider when dealing with a person who is living with cancer. She helps to remove the taboo of exploring emotions and the secrecy of medical conditions, and sheds light on basic approaches for alleviating pain and nausea. The author provides an easy format for laying out financial assets, expenses, and income; as well as providing a format for legal documents, such as medical power of attorney, living wills, and last will and testaments.
A Healing Journey: Writing Together Through Breast Cancer. Bray, Sharon. Amherst, Mass.: Amherst Writers & Artists Press, 2004. ISBN: 0941895297.
This book is a moving account of a program designed to help women with breast cancer express their humanity by writing about their experiences as a group. The author describes her profound experiences with an amazing group of women dealing with the diagnosis and treatment of breast cancer. As a breast cancer survivor, the author has intimate and detailed first-hand knowledge of what a woman goes through after that dreadful diagnosis is made.
A Spiritual Journey through Breast Cancer. Asti, Judy. Northfield Publishing, 2002. ISBN: 1881273350.
This book is a personal account of the author’s experience with breast cancer and how her faith helped her through difficult times and in defeating the disease.
Assess Your True Risk of Breast Cancer. Kelly, Patricia T. New York: Henry Holt and Company, 2000. ISBN: 0805064680.
This book is a guide to assessing your risk for breast cancer. It conveys complicated breast cancer statistics in an understandable form and provides options for genetic testing. It also gives you the tools you need to make an informed decision about your rights and options as a woman confronting the issue of breast cancer.
Beauty & Cancer: Looking and Feeling Your Best. Noyes, Diane Doan, and Peggy Mellody. Taylor Publishing, 1992. ISBN: 0878338098.
A handbook designed to help women improve their appearance and levels of comfort both during and after cancer therapies.
Before I Say Goodbye: Recollections and Observations from One Woman’s Final Year. Picardie, Ruth. New York: Henry Holt and Company, 2000. ISBN: 0805066128.
Being a journalist, it was a natural thing for Ruth Picardie to write about her rapid spread of breast cancer. Her emails and columns describe her diagnosis of Stage III breast cancer. Letters from readers shared their sorrow over her situation and words of encouragement from their own battles with cancer or the loss of a loved one. There are funny parts to this book, too, such as her new interest in body maintenance, makeup and clothes.
Beyond Breast Cancer: Our Stories of Hope and Courage. Ellis, Alda. Eugene, Ore.: Harvest House Publishers, 2002. ISBN: 0736908595.
This book is about how breast cancer survivors deal with their breast cancer. Each story is different in how each one lived their life and how breast cancer became the center of attention.
Breast Cancer: A Family Survival Guide. Penderson, Lucille M., and Janet M. Trigg. Bergin and Garvey, 1995. ISBN: 0897894383.
This book is a helpful guide to detecting breast cancer, dealing with it physically and emotionally, and surviving it. Issues such as insurance, physical changes, family stress, recovery and death are discussed in language for the general reader.
Breast Cancer Answers: Practical Tips and Personal Advice From a Survivor. King, Judith. Franklin Lakes, NJ: The Career Press, Inc., 2004. ISBN: 1564147576.
This book tells you how to deal with work concerns, insurance and relational issues, special nutritional and emotional needs, and side effects of treatments. Topics are addressed that some patients may be embarrassed to discuss with their doctor or even with a best friend, such as depression and changes in sexuality. The author has written the book she wishes had been available to her—one that will help breast cancer patients understand the ins and outs of a wide variety of procedures and stages of the journey, as well as where to look for help within and outside traditional medicine.
Breast Cancer: Daughters Tell Their Stories. Oktay, Julianne S. Binghamton, NY: The Haworth Press, Inc., 2005. ISBN-13: 9780789014511.
This book presents the results of a qualitative, grounded theory study of breast cancer survivors, providing in-depth information about an aspect of breast cancer that has been previously overlooked. The author presents eight years of extensive research on the effects that young mothers with breast cancer can have on their daughters. This book is an overview of how the study was conducted, as well as personal accounts of 41 adult women who shared their experiences during their mothers’ illnesses.
Breast Cancer? Let Me Check My Schedule! Cederberg, D, and D. Davidson, J. Edwards, et al. Innovative Medical Education Consortium, Inc., 1997. ISBN: 0813333938.
A compilation of ten professional women meeting the challenges of fitting breast cancer into their very busy lives.
Breast Cancer Survivors' Club, A Nurse’s Experience. Schockney, Lillie. Loveland, Colo.: Real Health Books, 2000: ISBN: 0970460104.
The author has unselfishly given us a very intimate insight into her fight and victory against breast cancer. The reader learns how to cope successfully with a cancer diagnosis. The author documents how a positive outlook, lots of laughter, proper medical care, prayer and faith in God brought her safely through treatment.
Cancer Fitness: Exercise Programs for Patients and Survivors. Schwartz, Anna L. New York: Simon & Schuster, 2004. ISBN: 074323801X.
This book is a guide to recovery and fitness for all cancer patients, offering the option of tailoring a program for specific needs. Through exercise, patients will regain some control over their bodies, manage side effects more successfully, and increase the body’s ability to heal. The illustrations provide good examples of the movements, and the author explains how important it is to be proactive in one’s recovery.
Cancer Has Its Privileges: Stories of Hope and Laughter. Clifford, Christine. New York: The Berkley Publishing Group, 2002. ISBN: 0399527761.
This book offers hope and inspiration by using humor as a tool to deal with the many challenges of cancer. The author encourages you to find and enjoy the humor in your own life. This book has a gift for blending powerful insights with heartwarming stories and practical advice. Funny, profound, reassuring and inspiring for anyone coping with cancer.
Carlisle Medical Journal. Darlene Carlisle, Darlene. 2005. ISBN: 0976262819.
The Carlisle Medical Journal is an excellent way to keep track of one’s personal medical history. There are components for each aspect of medical journaling. There is a section on family history, medications, appointments, medical tests, and surgeries/medical procedures. Anyone who wants to keep track of this type of information can benefit from its use. Many times it is hard to keep up with every detail of treatment, scheduling appointments, previous surgeries and procedures, etc. The Carlisle Medical Journal provides a clever way to do that by placing everything at your fingertips. To learn more, visit www.carlislemedicaljournal.com.
Celebrating Life: African American Women Speak Out about Breast Cancer. Dunnavant, Sylvia, and Nancy Wilson. USFI, Inc, 1995. ISBN: 0964321149.
This book captures the personal stories and triumphs of African American women in regards to breast cancer.
Chemo This! Finding Your Balance & Creating a Pathway Through Cancer. McBain-Roberts, Patricia. Burnstown, Ontario, Canada: General Store, 2001. ISBN: 18924263375.
The author takes us through her personal battle with breast cancer and discusses what she did that helped her get through the ordeal. She uses her skills as a Certified Human Resources Professional to better understand the different ways people deal with cancer depending on the type of personality they have. A resource section is included in the back of the book. It contains a list of videos, CDs, tapes, products, books, and information about Myers-Briggs Type Indicator.
Chicken Soup for the Soul Healthy Living Series: Breast Cancer. Canfield, Jack, et al. Deerfield Beach, Fla.: Health Communications, Inc., 2005. ISBN: 0757302742.
The book is divided into short, easy-to-read sections containing questions to ask the doctor, short stories, and pages reserved to record the reader’s thoughts, feelings and facts. The topics discussed are pertinent to any cancer survivor and include information regarding the discussion of a cancer diagnosis with children, loved ones and physicians. The book focuses on the importance of humor, mind/body focus, coping with change, clinical depression, support groups, healthy eating and fearing the return of cancer.
Confronting the Cow - A Young Family's Struggle with Breast Cancer, Loss and Rebuilding. Donner, C.B. Moonlight Publishing, LLC, 2000. ISBN: 0967963796.
The book focuses on how the children and husband rebuild their lives after the loss of their mom and wife. The children comfort and teach the dad about grieving. After their loss, the father continues to incorporate their mom's memory into heir daily lives.
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